Mean Machine

MEAN MACHINE (18)
D: Barry Skolnick
Paramount/Ska (Matthew Vaughn)
UK/US 2001
98 mins
 
Sports/Crime
 
W: Charlie Fletcher, Chris Baker & Andrew Day [based on the screenplay "The Longest Yard" by Tracy Keenan Wynn]
DP: Alex Barber
Ed: Eddie Hamilton & Dayn Williams
Mus: John Murphy
 
Vinnie Jones (Danny Meehan), Jason Statham (Monk), David Kelly (Doc), David Hemmings (Governer), Vas Blackwood (Massive), Danny Dyer (Billy the Limpet)
 
This Anglicised remake of American an sports comedy (The Longest Yard) stars real-life former footballer Vinnie Jones, a man of very limited acting ability, as a disgraced England footballer sent to prison for assault and forced by the warden into coaching other convicts to play in a match against the guards.
This is a prime example of the rubbish which came out of the woodwork following the success of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels (qv). An English gangster film with a lead character with absolutely no charisma or charm, armed with a hand-me-down script with barely any believable dialogue.
4/10

Mean Machine
Mean Machine